New Year's Resolutions

2011 is gone and left behind experiences. Some I'd like to change, some I'd like to do again, all I've learned something from. But here are my goals and habits for 2012:

Habits:
Be kinder to myself
Run 5 times a week
Read every night
Set things right
Journal More
Be kinder to myself

Goals:
Run a marathon
PR a 1/2 marathon
Write a race report for EVERY race
Run 5 new races
Purge stuff
Read 1 book a month

Be Kinder to Myself:
It is no mistake that this is listed twice. I am my own worst critic. My faults are enormous in my eyes. My poor decisions life changingly disastrous. I need to remember that I am human and I am awesome. I make more good decisions than bad. Most of my faults can easily be changed into assets. All I can do is lead with my mind and heart (as appropriate) and understand that people have their own demons and how they react is not a reflection on me. That the universe is not conspiring against me. This is where I need to be, even if it's not where I want to be and I don't know why I'm here.

Run 5 Times a Week:
"Running is not what I do, but it's what makes everything I do okay." When I run, everything is better. I feel more confident, sexier, smarter, more in tune with me. I need to get rid of the excuses and go.

Read Every Night:
I love to read. I hate not being able to talk to my friends about books they've read or what I'm reading. I hate saying, "It's on my list" or "It's on my bookshelf". I can get into bed 30 minutes earlier every night and get my read on. (I can't believe I typed that either)

Set Things Right:
Whether it be in my house, in my car, or in my relationships, I want to set things right. I am starting to realize clutter is not just physical. I need to clear my mind of the what ifs, if only, wish I could change this. I also need to implement a filing system and clean some drawers out.

Journal More:
After some reflecting I've come to realize that I need to write shit down. Talking things through, over and over and over again (as some of my friends can attest to) is how I process them. I wonder if I had kept up my journal after I got married would I have seen problems sooner. Not just in our relationship, but in my job satisfaction, my body image, everything. I've been lax about documenting my thoughts over the last year, and I want to change that. Writing shit down brings it to the forefront of my mind. I can't run from it if it is there in black (or blue) and white (or cream).

As for the Goals:
I've signed up for the LA Marathon and have also targeted CIM.

I PR'd the Southern California 1/2 after thinking I would have to walk some of it (race report coming soon)

I need to remember what I did right and what didn't work for me, that's where the reports come in. Also, I had a hell of a time searching for my times from races in 2011 to see if the Southern California 1/2 was a PR. I need to fix that.

I've signed up for The Tinkerbell 1/2 at Disneyland (1/29), Rock n Roll 1/2 in New Orleans (3/4), LA Marathon (3/18). I've targeted CIM, but haven't signed up. Also, I have the Heartbreak Ridge 1/2 on my radar. That's 5. I'm excited. In fact, I'm signing up for Heartbreak Ridge as soon as I check my credit card balance.

Purge stuff goes along with my habit to set things right. After moving last year I realized I have way too much stuff. Way too much. Bean has toys he has outgrown. I have hobbies I've outgrown. I have clothes I'll never wear again. Shoes I... no, that's going to far. The shoes and bags are off limits for now.

I love to read. Hopefully I'll get through 12 books this year if I read for at least 30 minutes a day. I hope.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm happy I took the time to write it.

The Longest (6) Mile(s)

My goal for today was 6 miles in my Vibrams. I'm slowing increasing my mileage in these fancy shoes. I want to run injury free and the last few weeks with these shoes have given that to me. I'm not saying I'm a convert, but it's hard to overlook the fact that I haven't had IT band pain since I started running in these gorilla feet shoes. I could be getting stronger. I could be losing weight. I could be running with better form. Or it could all just be in my head. Regardless, I think I'll ride out this experiment and see where it takes me.

Back to my 6 miles. I went out later than I wanted to (I was aiming to be putting foot to pavement no later than 9:30, I probably got out around 10:30) and it was warm! What happened my my lovely running weather. My impromptu 3 on Thursday were in nice high 60s. Cool, and comfortable... But I digress.

I went to Irvine, the closest place I can think of that has a nice flat running path, and ended up running into some friends who were just finishing their runs! Had a good chat with one, talked about running the Vibrams and my lack of pain (which I shouldn't have, jinxed!) and then I took off.

I barely made it through the first mile, my ankle felt weak, unstable, and pounded (what did I tell ya, I jinxed myself!) But did I give in? No, damn it! This is a bean free weekend. The time when I'm allowed to focus on myself in my long runs, not worry if my run is going to be cut short by loud fussing or other toddler distractions. So I stopped and stretched/worked it out, and went on my way.

Halfway through mile 2 I couldn't take it anymore, stopped stretched and set off. After both mile 2 and mile 3 I had to stop to work out my ankle, but as it wasn't so much pain but discomfort, I powered through. I was all prepared to rinse and repeat after miles 4 and 5, but I didn't happen. Miracle of miracles, I didn't need to stop.

Yes, you heard it right, I ran 6 miles, with negative splits, ending faster (better!) than I started. It felt awesome. I'm glad I didn't call off the run the first (or second or fifth) time my ankle bothered me enough to stop running. I'm glad that I listened to my ankle and stopped to work it out. I'm ecstatic that I kept running (pun intended) towards my goal.

My run today showed me more than the level of my endurance. It was an actual metaphor for my life right now. Yes it's painful and hard and it really SUCKS. But I'll work through it, and it'll end up alright. In fact, it'll probably end up better than alright. I might even end up with negative splits.

Game Day: Surf City 1/2 Marathon 2011

So I finally get to the start line of the Surf City 1/2 Marathon and I'm racing under an assumed name. I waited too long to register for the race and had to get a bib from someone who wasn't able to run.

Not that I WAS able to run the whole 13.1, but you all know me. I'm not the smartest when it comes to whether or not to race injured.

I knew I wasn't going to "race" the race. I hadn't trained. I couldn't run the whole thing. I was just out there for a supported run, to push myself and see what distance I could pull out, and to think.

I've got a lot of things going on in my life. Having a baby, being a single parent, going back to school, trying to train, etc, etc. I know, I know, all of us have lots going on in our lives. Mine may be busier than some, but not as busy as others. (I'm lucky to be in the place I am now in regards to THAT particular situation.)

I didn't have the bean this weekend. It also happened to be a close friend's birthday and there were plans on both Friday AND Saturday. Crazy I know, but I wasn't racing (although Ali the Runner was. We had a great time and she PR'd!!!) so I decided to take part in all the festivities (Ali didn't. She was the smart one).

Anyway, back to my life. This is where I digress but then get back to the run report, because there wasn't a race. I want to go back to school to be a Prosthetist. To do this I need one more class, Anatomy & Physiology. I went to 2 schools in my area to petition for said class and finally got in! This was after I resigned myself to the idea that the universe was trying to tell me something. I let go of my strangle hold on the idea that I HAD to get into this class THIS semester. If I didn't my WHOLE plan was never going to happen. I would miss my milestones and not even be able to attempt being a Prosthetist.

I decided to embrace the fact that I was probably not going to get into this class. What did that mean? Yes it meant I'd be putting off my chance to get into the Prosthetics program, but more importantly, it meant I could stay at home and see the bean grow up for 6 more months. I chose to focus on the fact that I had this wonderful opportunity. To spend time with my child.

Then I got into the class. So I get to spend time with the bean AND move my plan forward. It was, for lack of a better term, a sign.

The thing about signs is once you experience one, actually experience it not just notice it on the side of the road and keep cruising on by, is that you are open to accepting other signs.

Back to my race. I decided on a run/walk strategy. First I ran 1 mile and walked 1 minute. When I wasn't able to recover sufficiently from that, I ran 1 mile and walked 2 minutes. When that stopped working, I ran 1/2 mile, walked 1 minute, then I ran 1/2 mile, walked 2 minutes, finally I ran 1/2 mile, walked 3 minutes. This all worked up to mile 9. After that I walked it in, well, until I got into the finishers chute. You HAVE to run when that many people are watching!

This was the best part of the race, I made a plan, stuck to it, and didn't beat myself up over the fact that I couldn't run the whole race or that I wasn't doing as well as I wanted.

As I was just running the course, not racing it, I was able to actually take it everything that was happening. The overcast weather, the racers, the music. The music was key. My shuffle spoke to me and I listened. The play list it generated gave clarity to a situation I'd been struggling with for a while. It gave me the clarity to realize I had a decision to make, the courage to make it and the resolve I needed to follow through on it.

It did almost take the whole 13.1 miles (and 3 hours, 11 minutes) to realize the universe was sending me another sign. But I got it. Thank you.

Desire, she is back

I really love running. It made me happy. I am so that commercial of a few years back, where the guy runs off the worries/weights of the day.

I've gone through a really funky couple of years. The pregnancy and it's limitations on my running started it. Then the break up and divorce, which leads to me almost always running with a stroller attached, which isn't bad, just a change. Finally, the gallbladder surgery, which sent me into a funk I didn't even know I was in until I wasted a perfectly good running month.

But last Sunday I went for a 5 mile (ended up running 4 of them and walking the 5th) run, with stroller in hand. It was awesome. In fact, a few hours after I got home I wanted to do it all over again. And go longer.

Then I ran a 5K in ~100 degree weather (it was probably mid 90's, but it felt like 1000). Because that's what we crazy runners do. (the bean sat this one out)

So I'm doing it all again tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to make the whole 5 miles.

Not at 100%

The title says it all. I tried to run Saturday. Didn't start until 11am. It was sunny, and a bit hot. Ran for 5 minutes and got a side stitch. I thought (hoped) it was due to heat and hydration. So I bailed and walked.

Went out to support my triathlon team at their mock tri, and to do some running, and to eat the hot breakfast. (Ok, I was most motivated by the hot breakfast.) I was able to complete 5 intervals of a 5 min run/1 min walk. By the end of the last interval, I couldn't ignore the pain in my side. I was running at Back Bay, in comfortable, overcast weather, with a full 20 oz bottle of water.

Now I know I'm not completely healed. I've had side stitches due to running too fast. I've had side stitches due to insufficient hydration. This hurt much different, and much more, than either of those.

I'm back to taking it easy. The last thing I need is for something else to go wrong.

All Cleared

Today the doctor gave me the right answer. I can swim, bike, run, climb, dance, whatever. I also interviewed a college student for babysitting.

I'm so very excited. Granted, I haven't made up my mind about where thanksgiving is this year, but if I'm in Southern California, I'll be racing the Turkey Tri. I'm already sure Nike Women's will be a disaster, but I have high hopes for the races I've got my eye on next year.

Training will start tomorrow. I hope I can run any miles at all.

The DL

When it rains, it pours. Two surgeries in one year are two too many. I hate being on the DL.

At the beginning of August I ran the last of the Peter's Canyon Trail series. Beat the two previous race times. And then I stopped running. Stopped doing any training, really.

This was also around the time I scheduled my gallbladder surgery. Surgery that I would not have had now if I didn't need to change insurance polices.

I was equal parts disappointed, bitter and defeated. I really wanted to race the Pacific Coast Sprint Triathlon, but the earliest time I could schedule surgery was Sept 8th. Pac Coast was out, so was the OC International Triathlon, due to a no swimming for 6 weeks post-surgery order. 1 mile is not something that I can just go out and do. A 25 mile bike ride, sure. My lady parts might hurt, and it might take me almost 3 hours, but it'd get done. A 6 mile run, cake! I can walk at any time during the 6.2 miles.

But a 1 mile swim? With no training. Even with a wetsuit it wasn't going to happen.

But now I'm (semi)-back. I'm ready to run. I've jumped on the trainer once or twice. I'm not supposed to swim until Oct 20th, but I'm going to get clarification on that from the doctor tomorrow.

Did I mention Nike Women's 1/2 is on October 17th? And I haven't been able to train for it? But if I can finish it pregnant, I can finish it without training for it.

Hopefully I'll finish the 1/2 in less than 4 hours.

Peter's Canyon

I know I've been a bit scarce lately. I'd like to blame it on the bean, but that's not completely true. There was some cleaning that needed to get done and I couldn't justify blogging over cleaning, so I just watched bad television instead.

But that wasn't all. Some anger/frustration/despair came knocking. The triggering event itself isn't going to be discussed now, except to say it had nothing to do with my baby daddy. It just shows that you never truly understand how much your life is intertwined with someone until you try to untwine it. (yes, I know untwine probably wasn't a word before I used it. That's how cool I am.)

So on to races!

I signed up for the Peter's Canyon Trail Race series. I love the attitudes of trail racers. Yeah, some of the fast peeps are really hard core, but they're still very courteous. And this race is awesome. 5 hilly miles on dirt followed by a BBQ and hangin' with your homies! (I don't get to hang too much as I have to get the bean from his dad's that day. It's yet another reason to get faster.)

The thing is, I ran Peter's Canyon in 66:44. Back in 2008, I ran the reverse course in 59:39. I figure a 7 min (plus ~9 months of and a baby later) ain't too shabby. And I loved it. (PS, that was an iPod free 66:44. I had it on, it was just dead.)

I won't lie, there was walking on the way out. (I think the dust triggered my asthma, as there was a bit of breathing difficulty that I chalked up to me being out of shape.) And much walking up the hills of Devil's Crotch. But there was also much running. Down the backside and all the way back to camp. I probably ran the whole back 3 miles.

It felt great. I remember how running made me feel before. There were points when I thought I'd stop, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen to my mind. Finally my mind STFU and said legs, I hope you know what you're doing because I'm not going to want to hear it later.

This race catapulted me back into tri/running training. I want to do it. I want to get faster again. I need to train. It's helping me with my mom/Yas balance. I just need to get me some good, reliable sitters.

Surf City 5K - 2010 edition

For the 3rd year in a row I have failed to complete the Surf City 1/2 marathon. This year, 28 days after having a c-section, I walked the 5K.

It was probably closer to 5 miles, since I started walking from where I parked and past the 1/2 marathon start before getting to Main St in Huntington Beach. I was also the latest start, I'm sure, as I showed up about 40 minutes after the "gun" went off.

I wasn't sure I was going to do the race. It was supposed to be raining and I didn't want to take the bean out in that kind of weather. I didn't want to leave him at home, either. When I woke up, I saw a friend's picture that she posted on Facebook. The weather was beautiful at my house and beautiful in Huntington Beach, so I woke up my mother and we got ourselves and the bean ready to go, then went.

It was a bittersweet event. I was jonesing to run and jealous of the 1/2 marathoners who were getting to complete my favorite distance ever. When I had seen this race in my head I was carrying the bean or he would be waiting for me at the finish line with the person I love. and who loves me. I will admit there were tears. There were more mutterings and thoughts about how this wasn't how it was supposed to be. This was not the life I planned. My life was not supposed to be this way.

Even though this is not my choice, it is my life. In the end, Nathan was waiting there with the person I love and who loves me, my Mom. It may not have been the scene I had in my head, but it was still a great memory.

I really have to learn to lean on the support I have, use them when they offer.

Life Changes

I knew this was going to happen, but I still wasn't prepared for it.

At 41 weeks, 4 days, I will be induced and, hopefully, by this time tomorrow I'll have a healthy baby boy.

The problem with being induced, with scheduling a date for this life change, is that it brings up the other life change that I've experienced recently. I wasn't prepared for having to re-examine everything tonight.

On September 20th, 2009, my husband of 6 years, ~9 months told me he was in love with someone else. I thought it was over, but he still wanted to go to counseling and try to make it work. On September 26th, 2009 he told me he didn't want to make it work. On December 26th, 2009, one day shy of what would have been our 7th anniversary, we signed our MSA and mailed it off.

Each of those days set me off on a crying fit. Each made me think my world had been destroyed. It had. The life that I knew was gone. Everything was unpredictable. I agreed to the divorce. I haven't been happy for a while, but couldn't figure out why. When the person you're married to doesn't seem to want to spend time with you, it can be quite frustrating and very confusing. You try all sorts of things to get them to spend time with you, or at least seem to want you around. When none of it works, you might think this is the way it's supposed to be and give up. Or you run. And bike. And swim. But I digress...

This was not the way I envisioned it, when I first got pregnant. There was no induction. There was no divorce or single parenthood.

The best part, really, is that the woman he's in love with is a friend of ours. I know, it's nice. I'm not sure that we'll ever be friends again, but at least I know I can stand her.

The worst part? The broken promises. The promise that I wouldn't go through this pregnancy alone, yet as soon as I told him I couldn't deal with him and his new girlfriend he pretty much avoided me. He got a bit better near the end, but I still felt like I was a job.

So I go into my induction with some apprehension, but also with the knowledge that tomorrow is all about me and the bean. I'm no longer thinking about my ex-husband's feelings. I took them into account for too long during this process, putting mine aside because I was thinking about what would be best for the bean. But the bean won't know who was there when he's born. If it's too much for me to have my ex there, I'll call in my back ups or do it on my own. I know I can.

It's not who you are underneath - it's what you do that defines you. ~Batman Begins

37 weeks

I realize I'm pregnant. I know that's how I'm supposed to look, but I think I look huge!

Hopefully the bean will come next week. However I still need to pack a bag for the hospital!

Divorce

I know most of you have heard.

Yes, I'm pregnant, however it's been coming for a while and we hadn't realized it. Yes, I've asked him to move out. Yes, he's planning on being in the bean's life. Yes, this is the other major reason I haven't posted about anything. And no, there is no hope of reconciliation.

I probably the only first time mother who is looking forward to sleep deprivation because it means I won't be able to think.

Thanks for everyone who has been so supportive. You will never know how much that has meant to me over these last few months.

In other news, the bean is head down, in the high 5lbs and is cleared to come "early". In fact, the doc would like it if he came early.

Lost in Peak Week

(photo credit: Ashley Kyser)

So I'll admit it, I bit of more than I could chew this week.

For those of you who don't know, I'm quitting my job to go back to school. CAF inspired me about 6 months ago and my company put me in the right mindset to leave.

Being the good worker bee I am, I'm trying hard to tie up everything I can before I hand this off to anyone. I'm also trying to get ready for Iron Girl (my first stay-over race!) and that comes with it's own headaches. At least with running if you have your shoes and a sports bra, you're pretty much golden. Even if you forget them, you can usually go out and buy more, although I don't recommend running 13.1 miles in new shoes. But just pop in and pick up a bike? I know people do, rent them I mean, but still...

It started off slow, with a swim/run, then exploded into a 1.5 hour hill repeat, 45 minute hard run, 30 mile bike + 2 mile run and ended with a 7 mile run. I did miss a swim workout, which isn't the sport I should miss, really it's not. But with Jer's family coming into town, Friday night wasn't mine and now Monday night isn't mine either. I could be, if I'd cancel my spa appointment, but I'm not going to, so I accept it.

I also volunteered my aunt and myself to make our tri team shirts bigger. The style that was chosen ended up being discontinued, running small and not having an XXL pattern (this would be an XL in normal patterns) so my aunt spent most of her Saturday sewing on the panels of material I cut out and pinned on the sides of the shirts. Once they get printed, I'll post a pic. I also ripped out all the seams, but my aunt did most of the work.

Saturday night also was a surprise party for my friend Audrey. She was having a hard time coming to terms with the 3-0, I think it was good for her. It also helped me realize how far I've come in terms of weight loss. I'm pretty hot (and very tan) if I do say so myself!

15 things about me

Happy Holidays, blog world. I hope your celebration with family and/or friends was great. If you don't celebrate any of the holidays we're having now, I hope you enjoyed the time off.

In keeping with a Facebook note theme, I thought I'd share 15 things about me, the athlete edition. But before we get to that, here's a week in review:

Tuesday, ran 2 miles instead of 4. Packed up and left to drive to Stockton around 10 am. Got to Stockton about 4:30 and went straight to work making tamales.

Wednesday, went for a walk with my mom, then did some last minute shopping/errands with Mom. Celebrated Christmas eve with my side of the fam.

Thursday, waited until a break in the rain (about 9:30, 10am) and ran 4 miles. Took off to the MIL's to "open" presents in WOW, then left to celebrate Christmas IRL (in real life) with Jeremy's mom's fam.

Friday, walked with my mom. Went over to celebrate Christmas with Jeremy's dad's family. We played Wii. I was great at the ski jump on Wii Fit. I lost at Wii Boxing, but did manage to strain my right bicep.

Saturday, ran 4 miles in 34 degree weather. I never once wished I wore short sleeves. Celebrated our anniversary (6 years) and went to Myra's NorCal baby shower. We then drove home to Southern Cali.
Sunday, rested. I pretty much did nothing but watch tv. (We invited a friend over to watch the first season of Pushing Daisies).

On to my list:

1. It takes me ~2 miles/20 minutes to get into a groove while running.

2. I can go 2, maybe 2.5 days without running/cycling/generating endorphins. Any more than that and the bitch is back.

3. I'm on a quest to find tart (read not sugary sweet) fluid replacement drinks. When I'm working hard and I take a sip of something sweet, it makes me want to puke. So far I've tried (and like) GU2O, Vitalite,

4. I use Kool 'n Fit for every run and ride, when I remember. It really helps my IT band loosen up.

5. I run with my cellphone and inhaler. I never forget my cellphone, but I routinely forget my inhaler.

6. Chocolate milk is my recovery drink of choice.

7. I want to race a 1/2 Ironman, marathon and Ironman, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it will have to wait until I have kids. (My marathon can be the run leg of my Ironman, but I'd rather it be the Nike Women's marathon. I'm not picky.

8. Cross training (cycling and, I guess, swimming) has made me a faster runner.

9. The hardest part of running with out my iPod is the negative self talk. For some reason, when left to my own devices I start breaking myself down. A 10-11:30 minute mile may not be fast to some people, but it's my pace and I'm going to own it until I pass it.

10. Triathlons have made me want a new car. I want a wagon so I don't have to take my front wheel off anymore.

11. I don't care what I look like when I'm running. Me in compression shorts, a tight tank and my utility belt (aka my fuel belt) is quite a sight to see, but it's me running.

12. I do care about what I look like cycling. I love buying new cycling jerseys. I'm hoping a love a riding comes with it.

13. I'm addicted to my Garmin. I've been able to be a "Zen runner" (running without a watch, garmin or iPod) a few times. Those times have usually been when I'm running less than 3 miles.

14. My nose always runs on the bike. I have tissues in my bento box because of this.

15. I love running. I know it's a love/hate thing, but most of the time I love it. I love it for giving me goals to work towards, so I don't get bored. I love it for making me get into the gym (which I need to get back to) so I can work on getting myself in shape to support running. I love that I get to buy new shoes every 4 or so months, because who doesn't like buying new shoes!

Saga de Ashcat

So many of you may have already heard (or were forced to hear) the story, but I'm telling it again and it's got pictures. If you have a queasy stomach, you may not want to look further.

One day in July, a Monday, Ash the cat is taken in for routine tooth removal and dental cleaning. They need to put her under. Blood tests were done and she's given a clean bill of heath to under go the anesthesia. Here is a before picture of her:

She was put under, but the tooth wasn't removed. It was put on a "watch" list. They cleaned her teeth and the procedure was done.

She didn't come out of it well. In fact when she woke up she was woozy and couldn't move herself. She would pee right where she laid. So she stayed at the vet. Tuesday was much like Monday. Wednesday found Ash dragging herself to the litter box, to relieve herself, but there wasn't much motion in the back legs and she wasn't sitting up. We started to talk about what we'd do if she never regained full use of her limbs. Euthanasia was tossed around, but we never thought it'd get to that. Wednesday also brought news of a sore the Vet had found. It was relatively large. It was on 1/2 her stomach and went up her side a bit. She got a bit better Thursday and Friday, but Saturday morning was the "miracle".

Saturday the Vet got in and Ash was sitting up. They took her out of her cage to do more kitty physical therapy and she was walking! It looked like a drunk cat walking, but she was still walking. The bad news, the sore was larger than they thought. They had shaved 1/2 her stomach and 1/2 the way up her side. The sore was gooey and she was confined to a bathroom.

I took her home, with some cream to rub in the sore. It still progressed. She lost 2lbs over the next 3 days, or it could have been since that first Monday, so over the 8 days since this thing began. The Vet was so concerned that they sent Ash, along with one of their vet techs, to a critical care hospital where she stayed for 6 days, at no charge to us. The sore was still gooey and smelly.

While she was at the critical care hospital, the sore, they found, actually went all the way up her side. She wasn't eating very well. Jeremy suggested taking her hard cone off. She needed a hard cone because she had started licking at the sore and it wasn't helping the healing process. She got a soft cone and started eating.

We brought her home and confined her to a bathroom for a bit. The Vet called about a hyperbaric chamber treatment, pure oxygen just like for people. We went to this second animal hospital for a consult. They determined Ash was a candidate for this treatment, they set us up with a 40% discount. I think I would have done anything at that point. She stayed at that hospital for 5 days, getting in that chamber twice a day. I hated having to leave her in another unfamiliar place, but I knew it was for the best. I was visiting her every day here, just like I did at the critical care unit.

The change was amazing. The sore was now a scab. Hard like a turtle's shell. It was still a bit smelly, but it wasn't gooey. The biggest fear at this time would be that the whole shell would come off in one piece, leaving a huge open wound that had nothing to protect it.

I should tell you at this time that her skin was dead. They didn't know how deep it went, but basically what happened was this: Ash threw clots, most likely a reaction to the ketamine injection which is a common way to sedate animals before applying gas anesthesia. One clot had landed on her nervous system, causing the temporary paralysis. The other clot landed on her arterial system, causing a lack of blood flow to the tree it blocked. In this case, it was the left side of her body. The clots break up on their own, which is how Ash all of a sudden started to walk again and why she has blood flow to the area of her body that is a sore.

So now it's August 25th. I took Ash back for her recheck, and a surgery consult with a soft tissue specialist at the second animal hospital. The soft tissue specialist as well as the on call surgeon wanted to do surgery to remove the scab and to start a process that would close up the resulting wound. My Vet and I had already talked about this and we said no. She thought that having the scab on there as long as possible would help her more.

You have to realize that, between the critical care hospital, the second animal hospital and our family vet, Ash had maybe spent 1.5 weeks at home during the month of August. We thought it would be best to let her rest and relax, as much as she could, at home before we stressed her with surgery. So I took her home and we waited.

I brought her in to my Vet every 3 days, just for observation. Ash continued to get better. She was walking around, a bit off balance due to the scab, she was jumping. We gave up keeping her in a bathroom. She was roaming around the house trying to be a normal cat. Her scab started to smell and separate from her body. It was getting pretty pussy.

Near mid-September, we boarded her for a weekend as we went to visit family. I put her in a hoodie that someone gave to our dogs. It helped keep the smell in and we didn't have to see the scab. Dual purpose. Everything went well during the boarding. They didn't really check her wound too much, as she seemed to be doing better.

I ended up washing the hoodie, putting it back on her and then tossing it the next day. It was so full of ick coming from the wound, it wasn't worth washing it again. I took her back to the vet that next Wednesday and the Vet decided to take the scab off. It was only connected by little threads of tissue and they decided it wasn't doing anymore good. The Vet thinks it weighed close to a 1/2 pound. Below is a picture of the wound after they took the scab off. That big white space near her tummy is 1 layer of muscle that separates her insides from the outside.

The clot affected more than just the layers of skin. It killed some of the muscle. There was an area on her body that was covered by only 1 layer of muscle. There should be 3 layers of muscle, then the layers of skin, then the top layer that contains the hair. They wrapped her up and we continued doing this for 2 weeks. I went for another consult with the soft tissue surgeon. We decided to insert sutures, 2 rows, that they pull together like a corset. This stretches the skin to cover the wound and also gives the Vet something to tie down the gauge bandaging to. They didn't have to wrap her whole body anymore, just change out this one area. The goal is to close the wound until it becomes a small laceration they need to stitch up.

She's still confined to a bathroom. With this procedure she's really supposed to be in a cage with food and water. Only being let out for supervised potty time. Jeremy couldn't get her back into the cage the second time he let her out. So we blocked the tub and toilet from her and let her have the run of the guest bathroom. She stays on her pillow most of the time. It seems to be better now that I blocked off the door from the other animals, but left it open. She gets more air this way and can see us.

This is where we are today. The wound had shrunk to about 50% the size it was when the scab was first removed. Which was already 25% smaller than it had been before the hyperbaric chamber treatment. It's looking so good that Monday, when I picked her up, the Vet told me they're already using some of the sutures from the second row. The Vet also told me that the area that was just covered by 1 layer of muscle has now shrunk to roughly the size of a dime. Once it starts getting covered by the second layer of muscle, we'll know everything should be alright.

Apparently Ash is like the Cheerleader in Heros. She's healing faster than anyone predicted. I credit that to her youth, she's only 4, and the hyperbaric chamber treatment.

I'll keep you all posted. Hopefully I'll have some after pictures soon!

Random Thoughts

So I know it's been almost a month, but I had a little set back.

I wasn't really back last time. My IT band was acting up again so I had a self imposed 2 week running ban. When I went to the doctor, she told me 2 weeks was a good start, but I might need to stop running for 4 weeks. I tried running on Thursday, made it about 1 mile and the pain/irritation was too much to ignore. So I'm back to doing other types of cardio.

I'm still walking the dogs and I've taken up the bike, stationary as it is. I'm going to get my bike back into running order so I can ride outside. I'm also gonna go swimming again. I think I may try a tri before the year (either actual or by next October) is up.

Some random thoughts I've collected:

I have chapped lips when I run. I thought it was the wind that did it. Turns out to be my exhaling.

I wish I enjoyed anything the way my dogs enjoy their walks or my cats enjoy lying in the sun, or anywhere for that matter.

My Mizunos were not fit properly and I'm looking forward to more running action in my Brooks, which are cuter anyway.

I can actually pass up cake, cookies or french fries. I am shocked.

Running makes me happy. I've been in a funk for the past, oh, 2 or so weeks. I wonder why? Didn't make the connection until I sat and thought about it whilst in traffic on the way home from work on Friday. I decided to enjoy my strength training and alternate forms of cardio. I really do like bike riding and I love walking with the dogs.

I've decided to enjoy my life. So I don't have the most exciting or fun job in the world, I love the people I'm working with and I'm going to enjoy them. So I'm overweight. I'm working on it, and if I was never overweight, I would never have met any of my peeps on the WW Boards or at the meetings. I would have never found running.

I'm back!

There have been happening here that have made me stay away, the least of all was my lack of running due to over training.

We were at my Grandma's birthday last weekend and that's when I stopped running due to pain. The pain is pretty much gone and I'm back to my 4 miles, or my trying to run 4 miles.

Oh and there was Ash getting her scab removed. As soon as I get pictures I'll post the whole saga in all it's boring details.

Well today is my DOR. I will be getting out and walking the dogs, because they deserve it!