New Year's Resolutions

2011 is gone and left behind experiences. Some I'd like to change, some I'd like to do again, all I've learned something from. But here are my goals and habits for 2012:

Habits:
Be kinder to myself
Run 5 times a week
Read every night
Set things right
Journal More
Be kinder to myself

Goals:
Run a marathon
PR a 1/2 marathon
Write a race report for EVERY race
Run 5 new races
Purge stuff
Read 1 book a month

Be Kinder to Myself:
It is no mistake that this is listed twice. I am my own worst critic. My faults are enormous in my eyes. My poor decisions life changingly disastrous. I need to remember that I am human and I am awesome. I make more good decisions than bad. Most of my faults can easily be changed into assets. All I can do is lead with my mind and heart (as appropriate) and understand that people have their own demons and how they react is not a reflection on me. That the universe is not conspiring against me. This is where I need to be, even if it's not where I want to be and I don't know why I'm here.

Run 5 Times a Week:
"Running is not what I do, but it's what makes everything I do okay." When I run, everything is better. I feel more confident, sexier, smarter, more in tune with me. I need to get rid of the excuses and go.

Read Every Night:
I love to read. I hate not being able to talk to my friends about books they've read or what I'm reading. I hate saying, "It's on my list" or "It's on my bookshelf". I can get into bed 30 minutes earlier every night and get my read on. (I can't believe I typed that either)

Set Things Right:
Whether it be in my house, in my car, or in my relationships, I want to set things right. I am starting to realize clutter is not just physical. I need to clear my mind of the what ifs, if only, wish I could change this. I also need to implement a filing system and clean some drawers out.

Journal More:
After some reflecting I've come to realize that I need to write shit down. Talking things through, over and over and over again (as some of my friends can attest to) is how I process them. I wonder if I had kept up my journal after I got married would I have seen problems sooner. Not just in our relationship, but in my job satisfaction, my body image, everything. I've been lax about documenting my thoughts over the last year, and I want to change that. Writing shit down brings it to the forefront of my mind. I can't run from it if it is there in black (or blue) and white (or cream).

As for the Goals:
I've signed up for the LA Marathon and have also targeted CIM.

I PR'd the Southern California 1/2 after thinking I would have to walk some of it (race report coming soon)

I need to remember what I did right and what didn't work for me, that's where the reports come in. Also, I had a hell of a time searching for my times from races in 2011 to see if the Southern California 1/2 was a PR. I need to fix that.

I've signed up for The Tinkerbell 1/2 at Disneyland (1/29), Rock n Roll 1/2 in New Orleans (3/4), LA Marathon (3/18). I've targeted CIM, but haven't signed up. Also, I have the Heartbreak Ridge 1/2 on my radar. That's 5. I'm excited. In fact, I'm signing up for Heartbreak Ridge as soon as I check my credit card balance.

Purge stuff goes along with my habit to set things right. After moving last year I realized I have way too much stuff. Way too much. Bean has toys he has outgrown. I have hobbies I've outgrown. I have clothes I'll never wear again. Shoes I... no, that's going to far. The shoes and bags are off limits for now.

I love to read. Hopefully I'll get through 12 books this year if I read for at least 30 minutes a day. I hope.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm happy I took the time to write it.

Game Day: Surf City 1/2 Marathon 2011

So I finally get to the start line of the Surf City 1/2 Marathon and I'm racing under an assumed name. I waited too long to register for the race and had to get a bib from someone who wasn't able to run.

Not that I WAS able to run the whole 13.1, but you all know me. I'm not the smartest when it comes to whether or not to race injured.

I knew I wasn't going to "race" the race. I hadn't trained. I couldn't run the whole thing. I was just out there for a supported run, to push myself and see what distance I could pull out, and to think.

I've got a lot of things going on in my life. Having a baby, being a single parent, going back to school, trying to train, etc, etc. I know, I know, all of us have lots going on in our lives. Mine may be busier than some, but not as busy as others. (I'm lucky to be in the place I am now in regards to THAT particular situation.)

I didn't have the bean this weekend. It also happened to be a close friend's birthday and there were plans on both Friday AND Saturday. Crazy I know, but I wasn't racing (although Ali the Runner was. We had a great time and she PR'd!!!) so I decided to take part in all the festivities (Ali didn't. She was the smart one).

Anyway, back to my life. This is where I digress but then get back to the run report, because there wasn't a race. I want to go back to school to be a Prosthetist. To do this I need one more class, Anatomy & Physiology. I went to 2 schools in my area to petition for said class and finally got in! This was after I resigned myself to the idea that the universe was trying to tell me something. I let go of my strangle hold on the idea that I HAD to get into this class THIS semester. If I didn't my WHOLE plan was never going to happen. I would miss my milestones and not even be able to attempt being a Prosthetist.

I decided to embrace the fact that I was probably not going to get into this class. What did that mean? Yes it meant I'd be putting off my chance to get into the Prosthetics program, but more importantly, it meant I could stay at home and see the bean grow up for 6 more months. I chose to focus on the fact that I had this wonderful opportunity. To spend time with my child.

Then I got into the class. So I get to spend time with the bean AND move my plan forward. It was, for lack of a better term, a sign.

The thing about signs is once you experience one, actually experience it not just notice it on the side of the road and keep cruising on by, is that you are open to accepting other signs.

Back to my race. I decided on a run/walk strategy. First I ran 1 mile and walked 1 minute. When I wasn't able to recover sufficiently from that, I ran 1 mile and walked 2 minutes. When that stopped working, I ran 1/2 mile, walked 1 minute, then I ran 1/2 mile, walked 2 minutes, finally I ran 1/2 mile, walked 3 minutes. This all worked up to mile 9. After that I walked it in, well, until I got into the finishers chute. You HAVE to run when that many people are watching!

This was the best part of the race, I made a plan, stuck to it, and didn't beat myself up over the fact that I couldn't run the whole race or that I wasn't doing as well as I wanted.

As I was just running the course, not racing it, I was able to actually take it everything that was happening. The overcast weather, the racers, the music. The music was key. My shuffle spoke to me and I listened. The play list it generated gave clarity to a situation I'd been struggling with for a while. It gave me the clarity to realize I had a decision to make, the courage to make it and the resolve I needed to follow through on it.

It did almost take the whole 13.1 miles (and 3 hours, 11 minutes) to realize the universe was sending me another sign. But I got it. Thank you.

I'm an Endurance Athlete

No really, I am. The proof? Tonight's run.

My trail running group canceled our Thursday night run due to thunderstorms. This really bummed me out for a few reasons.

1) I was really looking forward to seeing if I could run 6 miles.
2) I ate today thinking I was going to run 6 miles (read: ate my calories before I burned them off)

I set out to run around the lake, twice. One lap is ~5K. I ended up with negative splits! How you ask? We'll, this is what I believe happened

A) I was warmed up. (run/walking 2 miles will do that to you)
B) I got past the dreaded 20 min/2 mile mark. (I've always had this, have you?)
C) I embraced my slower pace.

I think C is the most important. I really don't like being at a 13+ min/mile. I really don't. It was where I was when I first started running. I was trying to run faster than I my body can. I'd get running craps and ankle/IT Band/hip issues. This run was different. Like the longer distance runs of old. On the back 5K, I was warmed up, mentally in the run and had no unplanned walk breaks. These 3 things were missing from the first 5K.

As to why I'm an endurance athlete, after the first 2 miles, I felt like I could go forever. Well, at least for 4 more miles, maybe 6. I got into a good groove, although I really need to change the music on my shuffle and make it more shuffley, and started loving the run.

I did help that 3 guys waved/said hi to me on my run. Encouragement is always welcome.

Peter's Canyon

I know I've been a bit scarce lately. I'd like to blame it on the bean, but that's not completely true. There was some cleaning that needed to get done and I couldn't justify blogging over cleaning, so I just watched bad television instead.

But that wasn't all. Some anger/frustration/despair came knocking. The triggering event itself isn't going to be discussed now, except to say it had nothing to do with my baby daddy. It just shows that you never truly understand how much your life is intertwined with someone until you try to untwine it. (yes, I know untwine probably wasn't a word before I used it. That's how cool I am.)

So on to races!

I signed up for the Peter's Canyon Trail Race series. I love the attitudes of trail racers. Yeah, some of the fast peeps are really hard core, but they're still very courteous. And this race is awesome. 5 hilly miles on dirt followed by a BBQ and hangin' with your homies! (I don't get to hang too much as I have to get the bean from his dad's that day. It's yet another reason to get faster.)

The thing is, I ran Peter's Canyon in 66:44. Back in 2008, I ran the reverse course in 59:39. I figure a 7 min (plus ~9 months of and a baby later) ain't too shabby. And I loved it. (PS, that was an iPod free 66:44. I had it on, it was just dead.)

I won't lie, there was walking on the way out. (I think the dust triggered my asthma, as there was a bit of breathing difficulty that I chalked up to me being out of shape.) And much walking up the hills of Devil's Crotch. But there was also much running. Down the backside and all the way back to camp. I probably ran the whole back 3 miles.

It felt great. I remember how running made me feel before. There were points when I thought I'd stop, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen to my mind. Finally my mind STFU and said legs, I hope you know what you're doing because I'm not going to want to hear it later.

This race catapulted me back into tri/running training. I want to do it. I want to get faster again. I need to train. It's helping me with my mom/Yas balance. I just need to get me some good, reliable sitters.

Tendonitis and Chocolate Milk

So my shoulder pain came back. I'm not sure I mentioned it before, but 6-8 weeks ago I had a pain in my right shoulder. My chiropractor/physical therapist told me stretch and work on my traps. I did and the pain went away. I stopped working on my traps and now it's back.

I went to a MD on Tuesday. He diagnosed the tendonitis and told me to do yoga. When I told him I was a runner/triathlete he told me to keep doing yoga. Interesting prescription.

What this means is no swimming until either A) my shoulder stops hurting or B) 9/7 the date of the Pacific Coast Triathlon. I paid my money and I'm racing it, even if I'm slow.

Wednesday was a breakthrough cycling workout for me. We did hill repeats on El Toro Trail. Two Sundays ago I got up the hill in record speed for me. This was after a 25ish mile ride on Santiago Canyon. I chalked it up to weirdness.

Wednesday my warm up lap was about 10:30, WTF? The next one was about 9:35 thanks to Martha chasing a fellow diva up the hill. I didn't want them to pass me, so I got the benefit of Martha's yelling, too. Passes 3 and 4 hovered around 10:09-1o:20! The last one was cut short due to darkness and me needing to ride my butt back home before it got pitch black.

I'm very impressed with my badassness. The Triathlon Goddess heard my rant about my swim and chose to show me my improvement on the bike. Well, really I was able to track my progress via my training log and my garmin. I love it when I can see progress.

Due to a few fellow bloggers asking about nutrition, I've decided to take one for the team. I will be using chocolate milk as my recovery drink of choice for the next month. I'll report back on my findings. I usually use Luna's recovery drink and have tried Hammer's Recoverite, which worked for me.

I just need to remember the chocolate milk is for recovery, not dessert. Tonight I drank 1 8 oz container for recovery and another one for dessert. At this rate, I'll have to buy a chocolate cow to make this affordable.