My mother and aunt, yes they're twins, turned 60 this year. They are amazing women who I've looked up to for as long as I thought to look up to someone, but that's another blog topic all together. The reason I bring them up is because of the situation created by said birthday. A surprise party.
At the party I saw many people I haven't seen for a while, either 2 months, since my granny's 80th birthday party, or a whole year. One friend of the family, we'll call him Uncle, and his wife were there. Uncle commented on my weight loss, mentioning he thought it let more of my natural personality shine through. WTF????
Now at the time, I didn't really process it. I was too busy saying hi to everyone and trying to get everything settled down so the surprise could be pulled off, to really comprehend it. But I did have all weekend and Tuesday's 2 hour Biggest Loser to think about it.
To give Uncle some credit or leeway, he is from another country, even though he's been here since I was about 5. He may not have used the words he wanted to use. But the words he used made me think.
Who does my (or your) being overweight limit more? Me (or you)? Or other people?
Did I limit myself at 180 lbs or even at 195? Was I less funny, sarcastic or adventurous? I hiked and camped and indoor rock climbed, all before I lost 40 lbs. I made friends, joked around and went out, in short did things before I decided to lose weight.
Did Uncle say to himself, she's got a great personality, if only she wasn't so fat? Do/Did lots of people think, she's pretty for a fat girl? Was I oblivious to people snubbing me because of my weight, or appearance in general?
I'm glad my hiring managers were able to see my skillz and not just my appearance. I'm grateful that the wonderful people I call my friends, in real life and online, see me and not my weight.
I like to think people love me or hate me based on my attitude alone.
So now I'm at the meh/what ev phase of thinking about the comment. I've been offended by it, then disected it and now I'm over it. But I'd still like to hear what you all think.