Races!

Yes, I said raceS.

I've run 4 races since the bean was born. 3 I ran. 2 I ran with the bean. He always beats me!

Surf City 5K was the first. I blogged about it, so we'll skip it.

OC Marathon 5K (yeah, I know) was the second. I was talked into this one. It was in Costa Mesa and Penny was running the 1/2. We planned to meet up with Glenn and get breakfast. Both of them strongly suggested I run the 5K. I figured it would be a good way to kill time, so I decided to sign up. Two days before the race. At the time, it was the latest I had decided to run a race. Usually, being the planner I am, my races are scheduled months in advance. Seriously.

This was my first postpartum "race". It was hard. I took the stroller, and like a good mom, lined up in back. With the walkers. I think I spent most of my first mile dodging the walkers. Some of them were more accommodating than others. In the end, my first race back was slower than my first race ever, but it was awesome none the less. The bean was awesome. Grumbled a bit, but slept most of the way.

Ave of the Vines 5K was next. My awesome friend Rachel decided to run the 1/2. I had wanted to visit the fam up in Northern Cali and hadn't picked a week. So it was easy to plan my visit around the race. The bean didn't join me on this one. He was at his grandpa's house, visiting with his great grandparents.

I finished faster, although the first mile felt weird without the stroller to push. It also felt weird because I couldn't catch my breath. I chalk it up to running in the San Joaquin valley, through the vineyards of Lodi, and all that pollen/mold.

The most recent, Saddleback Community 5K, was the latest I'd ever decided to sign up for a race. I volunteered to work the registration table with my little man. I caught up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, or who hadn't met the bean. (He was a hit, as always.) I figured I'd go out and cheer on the Duathlon racers. They convinced me to run the 5K. Why not? It's close to the house, I could walk down, run a short 5K, cheer peeps on, then walk back home. So I signed up. At about 5:30pm the day before the race.

Turned out great. It wasn't a chipped race. We showed up late, but still ran. I'm pretty surer we were faster than the OC Marathon 5K, but with no chip time and a bit of a watch malfunction (ran into friends at the finish line and I forgot to stop it) I can't be sure. I think I shaved at least 30 seconds off our time. AND THERE WERE HILLS. Well, one hill. You ran down in first.

All in all, I walk/ran about 6 miles today. Pushing a stroller. With a 15+ lb child.

I had a great time.

10, 10, 10

I'm kicking it into high gear. Well, higher gear. Okay, it's like maybe 3rd gear. I'm running. For 10 minutes at a time, with a 1 minute walk break in between. Then I repeat it, two more times.

It's been different. I still have some IT Band issues from being pregnant. The hip spread and extra weight are most likely the cause. I'm really trying to get into a groove, to build back up my stamina.

I'm getting back into what's important, but I've realized what's important has changed. I'd love to run every day. But sometimes, it's just a walk with the bean in the carrier. I want him to be just as comfortable as I am (well, I'm not running to be comfortable, but you know what I mean).

I bundle him up, if it's cold and cover him if it's a bit wet, but there in lies the different choices. Before the bean, I'd run in pretty much any weather. Maybe not pouring down rain, but pretty much any temp, any time, any place. Now I try to run when he's with his dad or when he's about to fall asleep. I don't want interrupt my run if he fusses, but I don't want him to fuss on the run. I think once I build up my stamina, that the stopping in the middle of a run will be not as bothersome. It's not that I don't love having him out there with me or that I let him cry. In fact, it hurts my heart when he starts crying. I tend to not go too far from home, just in case he has a melt down. (Well that and there are lots of hills, and pushing a stroller up hills is work enough. I'm not adding running to it until I can run up the hills on my own!)

I'm looking forward to him being older and better able to entertain himself in the stroller. It might be a pipe dream, but here's to hoping!

Life Changes

I knew this was going to happen, but I still wasn't prepared for it.

At 41 weeks, 4 days, I will be induced and, hopefully, by this time tomorrow I'll have a healthy baby boy.

The problem with being induced, with scheduling a date for this life change, is that it brings up the other life change that I've experienced recently. I wasn't prepared for having to re-examine everything tonight.

On September 20th, 2009, my husband of 6 years, ~9 months told me he was in love with someone else. I thought it was over, but he still wanted to go to counseling and try to make it work. On September 26th, 2009 he told me he didn't want to make it work. On December 26th, 2009, one day shy of what would have been our 7th anniversary, we signed our MSA and mailed it off.

Each of those days set me off on a crying fit. Each made me think my world had been destroyed. It had. The life that I knew was gone. Everything was unpredictable. I agreed to the divorce. I haven't been happy for a while, but couldn't figure out why. When the person you're married to doesn't seem to want to spend time with you, it can be quite frustrating and very confusing. You try all sorts of things to get them to spend time with you, or at least seem to want you around. When none of it works, you might think this is the way it's supposed to be and give up. Or you run. And bike. And swim. But I digress...

This was not the way I envisioned it, when I first got pregnant. There was no induction. There was no divorce or single parenthood.

The best part, really, is that the woman he's in love with is a friend of ours. I know, it's nice. I'm not sure that we'll ever be friends again, but at least I know I can stand her.

The worst part? The broken promises. The promise that I wouldn't go through this pregnancy alone, yet as soon as I told him I couldn't deal with him and his new girlfriend he pretty much avoided me. He got a bit better near the end, but I still felt like I was a job.

So I go into my induction with some apprehension, but also with the knowledge that tomorrow is all about me and the bean. I'm no longer thinking about my ex-husband's feelings. I took them into account for too long during this process, putting mine aside because I was thinking about what would be best for the bean. But the bean won't know who was there when he's born. If it's too much for me to have my ex there, I'll call in my back ups or do it on my own. I know I can.

It's not who you are underneath - it's what you do that defines you. ~Batman Begins

Taking the Plunge

I really wanted to sign up for Vineman 70.3 or Barb's Race this year. Both are 1/2 Ironmans taking place in the Fall. Smartly, my coach told me to wait. I just really want to get back.

Next I was thinking about the Cinco de Mayo 1/2 marathon in Irvine, but I'm not sure I'll but up to that one either. I know I'll be doing the Laguna Hills Memorial Half, because I have to. It was my first 1/2. I "ran" it this year while pregnant. I'm hoping to run it with the bean in 2010. They better allow strollers.

I haven't signed up for any of those.

So what plunge did I take? Surf City 5K, of course.

For the past 2 years, I've wanted to run the Surf City 1/2 on Superbowl Sunday. First it was an IT band issue that stopped my training. Then it was wanting to get the San Diego Race Series Triple Crown medal (which I didn't get because I decided not to run the America's Finest City 1/2 in August, you know, when I was about 20 weeks preggers and thinking it would be in the high 90s. Yes I know I walked a 1/2 marathon in Oct. Let's not dwell on the details.)

The big factors in signing up for this race?
1. I can walk a 5K now, in fact my mom and I did on Thanksgiving day.
2. I haven't seen anywhere on the site that strollers are prohibited.
3. I want to get a legacy medal for participating 3 years in a row.
4. I want to meet up with my running blog/twitter peeps!

So, barring any unforeseen circumstances, the bean and I will be showing up at this race. Maybe it will just be me. We'll see.

37 weeks

I realize I'm pregnant. I know that's how I'm supposed to look, but I think I look huge!

Hopefully the bean will come next week. However I still need to pack a bag for the hospital!

Divorce

I know most of you have heard.

Yes, I'm pregnant, however it's been coming for a while and we hadn't realized it. Yes, I've asked him to move out. Yes, he's planning on being in the bean's life. Yes, this is the other major reason I haven't posted about anything. And no, there is no hope of reconciliation.

I probably the only first time mother who is looking forward to sleep deprivation because it means I won't be able to think.

Thanks for everyone who has been so supportive. You will never know how much that has meant to me over these last few months.

In other news, the bean is head down, in the high 5lbs and is cleared to come "early". In fact, the doc would like it if he came early.

Strong and Fast

No, it's not my last track workout, it's a heartbeat. And it's not my heartbeat, although mine is strong...

It's my baby's heartbeat.

Now the cat's out of the bag (or house and I know how hard it is to catch a cat that doesn't want to be caught.) Some of my faithful (unless you've given up on me) readers already knew.

So here's the real reason behind my 2:49:31 La Jolla finish. And my gallbladder attack, although that was probably going to happen sooner or later. And my 3 hour Laguna Hills 1/2, but I didn't really train for that one. I think the longest run I had after my gallbladder incident (leading up to the 3 hour race) was 5 miles.

I'm not completely blaming the bean for being slow. But (s)he is a great scapegoat. You'll all meet bean at the end of the year, or the beginning of next year. It was poor planning, getting preggers during the season, but it is Cali and there are races year round, so the complaining is over, for now.

So there will be less running, (more because of my tweaked knee earned during the 3 hour 1/2, then the pregnancy), and no bike riding (due to a mandate by my coach) but more swimming.

Maybe the first thing this bean will give me, other than a trip to the ER and a want to remove my gallbladder, is an appreciation for swimming.